Apologization
Roy Maxwell mode:
Gomen nasai, watashi no tomodachi. I cannot keep the promise that we made. No...make it I don't wish to keep the promise that we made. I'm sorry, truly and seriously sorry. I don't deserve you as a friend.
In fact, I don't deserve anyone as a friend. Nor do I deserve to be anyone's friend.
Today, I look at myself in the mirror, and I asked myself, "Why should I have friends?" When I relook at my actions, I can help but smile, tears crying freely in my heart. Yet, no one will ever see it, nor will they feel it, for they are too busy with their life, coop up with trying their very best in everything.
However, I do not even wish to try and work hard.
Yes, I am ruining myself. Literally.
I ask myself, which person with a sane mind wouldn't envy others. I ask myself, which person with a sane mind wouldn't get jealous of others. I ask myself, which person with a sane mind wouldn't hope for the best for him or herself only. I ask myself...
Indeed, I'm the one without a sane mind.
When I see others whom I know doing their best, I feel happy for them. When I see others lost, I motivate them. When I see others sad, I comfort them. When I see others angry, I share their anger.
No, I'm not a noble person nor a saint. Just a misled soul.
When I see their happy faces, see their feelings, I can't help but think, 'Look, they are feeling happiness.' To me, to see the word happy once again would mean that I would be dead. Who's there to give me happiness when I needed it the most? Who's there to share my troubles and my thoughts when I wanted to?
No one...
After a while, everything around you numbs to nothing. After a while, you will see that there's no need to strive for anything, for nothing in the world is perfect. After a while...
You will get tired with life.
How many a times have I reluctantly agreed to requests of others, I cannot remember. Though it pains me to give a firm 'no', there are times which I have seen that there is no need for me at all. After all, I am just a wandering lost soul, walking, wandering in this big, borderless world.
After all, I am never noticed.
I might as well be gone from the face of this world.
Gomen nasai, watashi no tomodachi. I cannot keep the promise that we made. No...make it I don't wish to keep the promise that we made. I'm sorry, truly and seriously sorry. I don't deserve you as a friend.
In fact, I don't deserve anyone as a friend. Nor do I deserve to be anyone's friend.
Today, I look at myself in the mirror, and I asked myself, "Why should I have friends?" When I relook at my actions, I can help but smile, tears crying freely in my heart. Yet, no one will ever see it, nor will they feel it, for they are too busy with their life, coop up with trying their very best in everything.
However, I do not even wish to try and work hard.
Yes, I am ruining myself. Literally.
I ask myself, which person with a sane mind wouldn't envy others. I ask myself, which person with a sane mind wouldn't get jealous of others. I ask myself, which person with a sane mind wouldn't hope for the best for him or herself only. I ask myself...
Indeed, I'm the one without a sane mind.
When I see others whom I know doing their best, I feel happy for them. When I see others lost, I motivate them. When I see others sad, I comfort them. When I see others angry, I share their anger.
No, I'm not a noble person nor a saint. Just a misled soul.
When I see their happy faces, see their feelings, I can't help but think, 'Look, they are feeling happiness.' To me, to see the word happy once again would mean that I would be dead. Who's there to give me happiness when I needed it the most? Who's there to share my troubles and my thoughts when I wanted to?
No one...
After a while, everything around you numbs to nothing. After a while, you will see that there's no need to strive for anything, for nothing in the world is perfect. After a while...
You will get tired with life.
How many a times have I reluctantly agreed to requests of others, I cannot remember. Though it pains me to give a firm 'no', there are times which I have seen that there is no need for me at all. After all, I am just a wandering lost soul, walking, wandering in this big, borderless world.
After all, I am never noticed.
I might as well be gone from the face of this world.
posted by Aphelia Yuu at 11:30 PM
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